Tulsa? Can it Really Be?

All the pictures from this trip can be seen online by clicking on this link.

The Trip Up 

Wednesday, October 25

 This is the fourth time I've planned to go to Tulsa. The first time, last year, I ended up skipping it because of the timing of things. I was coming up from San Antonio on the way to Michigan, & the mechanics of the drive meant that I would have gotten to Tulsa less than an hour before everything I was interested in closed, and nothing opened early the next day. So I figured it'd be best to leave it for another time.

 That 'nother time was supposed to be last June, when I was wandering around with my friend Roland. We went through Little Rock and the Ozarks and up to St. Louis, then back down through the Ozarks with a plan to drive the Talihena Scenic Route before heading up to Tulsa for a couple of days. Well, let's just say that, after a good long trip, neither of us was interested in extending it when it was a hundred degrees every day. So we went home instead, by the most direct route. Strike two.

 Then I made plans to do Tulsa and Fort Worth during my August-September travel window, when I had a five-week gap available to go somewhere. The weather was extremely uncooperative with that plan, so I shelved it with little reluctance. I mean, it was f'ing hot back then, and not just in Texas and Oklahoma. (That plan to visit Tulsa and Fort Worth was a fallback; initially I was going to spend a couple of weeks in Quebec during that window, but there were all these wildfires going in Canada, and after checking air-quality reports every day, I finally decided that plan was out. I would have been more reluctant to abandon it had it not been a five-day drive up, and a five-day drive back, and wicked hot.)

 So now, here I am, just back from the Huntsman Trip, and finally on my way to Tulsa. I would have started out Monday, but I had an issue with the car that I decided (late last Friday) I could not deal with myself, so the car was in for a repair to the rear window regulator, a steel cable with a cheap piece of plastic on it that apparently is going to break every 3 or 4 years. Anyway, got it back first thing this morning -- my mechanic had quoted me a cost of $4,000 a few months back, but that was because Jaguar charges $3,000 for the replacement parts. Turns out they only sell the entire assembly, including window glass (didn't need it), regulator mounting panel (didn't need it), regulator motor (didn't need it) and regulator. I bought an OEM regulator on line for $21, and took it in for my mechanic to install when I realized I couldn't do all that stuff myself. (There were 20 steps to get to the regulator, and 22 to put it all back together, and I don't even know what some of the words mean in the instructions. So I let them do it.)

 Because I have an appointment back home next week, I dropped the Fort Worth part of the trip; I'll do that some other time. I'm sure it'll be a maudlin trip down memory lane anyway. But because there are so many things on my List of Things to Do in Tulsa, I added an extra day to my stay there. 

 The trip started today. Because of the car-repair timing I got on the road about an hour and a half later than I'd planned. There was a huge line of storms moving into my route from west Texas, but I decided to go anyway. The rain caught me around Hamilton, Texas, west of Waco, and slowed me down pretty badly. I haven't seen rain like that outside of Louisiana in ... well, my entire life, as far as I can remember. It was biblical. But I made it to Hico for lunch at the Koffee Kup, which has been The Best Place for decades, though I hadn't been there in the last 20 years. I had the best cheeseburger ($3.29) and excellent steak fries ($3) and a slice of Doctor's Office Pie ($5.29, and don't ask what's in it; go have some yourself). I strongly recommend the place. When I was done the rain had stopped and I headed off.

 The only problem I encountered otherwise on Wednesday was that, south of Dallas, my phone lost the GPS signal, dumping me in downtown Dallas with no idea how to get out. Dallas is a maze to me, even though I used to live there. I finally thought to re-boot my phone, and it found the GPS signal for a while, then lost it again. I re-booted it again & the problem has not recurred. (Well, it did, but the phone quickly re-acquired the signal that time.)

 I had hoped to get to Broken Bow on Wednesday, but only got to Idalou ... which is only 12 miles from Broken Bow, so I guess that's not something worth complaining about. And the hotel I found turned out to be a great deal: extremely clean, very cheap, with very good linens and very quiet.

 I've been listening to an audiobook called 150 Glimpses of the Beatles. It's reflections from various people of the group's early years, and it's very interesting to me, who vaguely remembers Beatlemania mostly from old clips on TV. Unfortunately it's read by three people, and whenever they read quotes from anybody, they do voices. They do passable imitations of the Fab Four, whose voices are familiar to everyone of my generation, I'm sure, and they do passable voices for British celebrities and politicians (as far as I can tell). But their American accents are just horrible. In their estimation, everyone from fangirls in Denver to Baptist preachers in Florida has a Noo Yawk accent; they all sound like Brando in On the Waterfront. Very irksome. But still an enjoyable book, a mix of history and trivia. Brings back memories.

Thursday, October 26

I slept through the night last night for the first time in years. Don't know why, but I did. And felt more refreshed today than I have in an age. Wunnerful.

It was pouring rain again when I left, about 6:30, while it was still dark. I stopped at a gas station/restaurant/car museum called Gasquatch, which I'd been to a few months ago. All muscle cars, so nothing to get excited about. Had coffee and a breakfast sandwich mainly just to kill time, hoping that dawn would come and I could see. It didn't, at least not soon enough. When I got back on the road it was so hard to see that I actually pulled over and got out to make sure I had two working headlights. (I did.) I puttered along into Broken Bow (12 miles away, if you'll recall) where I stopped for another cup of coffee just to kill some more time. I was a little more successful that second time. 

While I was waiting for the sun to come up I opened Google Maps and set it to take me to the eastern end of the Talimena National Scenic Route. Then I set out. The road going up was very pretty: winding, recently resurfaced, lightly travelled, with alternating light rain and fog. After about an hour and a half I arrived ... at the western end of the drive. So I turned off Google Maps, got out the road atlas I was given for Christmas, and headed east across the ridges. Despite the occasional fog, it was a pretty drive, with some nice views of the valleys on either side. Then I headed north to check out Mike Fuller's Car & Gas Museum in Inola.

Mike Fuller's Museum

 It proved to be, in essence, an old garage building filled with about half the man's collection of old cars (mostly from the '20s and '30s, but a few from the '50s), along with hundreds of glass finials from old-style gas pumps, gas station signs, and toy cars. The cars are in various states of repair; he has restored a couple, but most of them are in the condition they were in when he acquired them. I spent probably two hours looking over the collection, and then nearly another hour sitting outside chewing the fat and getting scratched by his very friendly, very chubby dog Nellie.

the Correll Museum's car collection

 From there, I headed just down the road a piece to the Correll Museum in Catoosa,  a suburb of Tulsa and pretty much the next town along from Inola. I of course went only for the cars, of which there are only about a dozen, but also found myself fascinated by the displays in the first building, chiefly local geological samples and toys. Then, as long as I was in Catoosa, I figured I might as well go by and see what the town is most famous for: the Blue Whale of Catoosa. Fabulous.

 Then I drove into Tulsa proper and found my hotel. 

 When I was looking for a place to stay in Tulsa -- a town I knew nothing whatsoever about -- I thought that I would stay in a nice hotel downtown. I can afford it, I thought. And I found a nice hotel downtown, which was more or less reasonably priced and part of the Wyndham group, so I'd get Rewards points, which actually does make booking that group of hotels more attractive. But I have to say it's getting less and less attractive with the passing years. Now, it happens that the downtown hotel I found didn't have a room available for the three nights I planned to be here, so I started looking further out. And when I had to choose between a room 6 miles from downtown for $117 a night, or a room 5 miles from downtown for $76 a night, I decided that, if I couldn't be downtown, I might as well save $120. I thought, Super 8? It's a good enough chain. It'll be fine.

 It's not fine. It is barely adequate. The motel itself is passable: a little on the tatty side. The bathroom counter, mirror and shower are made for short people. The room's lighting is inadequate. The towels are left over from a Civil War army hospital. The switch that controls the only light in the room also controls the switch where I had my computer plugged in. I did not know that. So when I woke up the next morning I found my computer had drained its battery substantially. 

 Worse is the neighbourhood this hotel is in. There was a homeless guy in the parking lot when I arrived, trying to affix the front of his shopping basket to a skateboard. There are people who appear to be homeless wandering the streets throughout the area. And of course there's a lot of noise from the freeway at the front of the hotel. (It gets better at night, thankfully.) (Also from the 20-something idiot girl pounding on the room next door and threatening to break the window if they didn't open up.) This is not exactly a common experience with Super 8, but it is becoming increasingly common. Which means I'm less & less interested in Super 8 motels, and in Wyndham. (I also had problems with their mobile website for most of this year, but that seems now to be fixed. Still, it has a place in the calculus of preferences. Likewise my experiences with both La Quinta and Super 8 in Amarillo, going to Colorado and returning every year.) I think when I use up my Rewards points I'll switch loyalty to another chain; maybe Marriott? (I've already found that the Best Western in Deming, New Mexico, is a better deal than the La Quinta there, so now I have a Best Western loyalty account.)

 Enough of that. Nobody but me is interested (though Wyndham should be) so I'll move on to the Main Course of this trip.

Tulsa Itself

Day one: Friday, October 27

 I lucked out this morning, and found a good breakfast place half a block from my hotel. I knew rain and colder temperatures were expected, and I walked as far as the corner before I noticed just how close and just how threatening the clouds were, so I walked back to the hotel and loaded up the car for the day's explorations (i.e., I got my city map) and drove over to the restaurant. Good coffee, one slice of wheat toast and one egg over easy. Not many people there, but everybody seemed to know everybody else, which made me feel very much the outsider. No matter; I drank my coffee, ate my breakfast and left, first for a branch of Chase Bank, then to the Philbrook Museum, Tulsa's local museum of fine art. 

hand-carved

 The museum is located in a former private mansion with extensive gardens in the nicest part of town. Reminds me a lot of the McNay, surrounded by Terrell Hills and Alamo Heights: big, expensive houses built by the Pillars of Society. Only the Philbrook house was much nicer than Lady McNay's place. The museum has added on extensively, with kind of half-assed attempts to match the style, but the additions still end up looking like Postmodern Corporate Committee Choice. Too bad

 Anyway. Naturally, being in Oklahoma, you'd expect that this museum's collection is fairly heavy on the Native American artists; and it is. I saw works from Lakota, Hopi, Navajo, Pueblo, Blackfeet, even Chemahuevi artists in abundance. But there's only one small room with perhaps a dozen pieces by artists from Oklahoma tribes. That surprised me.

 There were a number of pieces that caught me up in them in the three hours I was there. One thing I noticed in particular is how ugly the baby Jesus is portrayed in early-Renaissance paintings. In some He looks like a nude Fred Mertz, in others He just looks morbidly obese, and with a tiny head. I thought about taking pictures to illustrate it, but apparently I forgot.

 I did, though, take pictures of many works, which (again) can be seen in my online photo album for this trip. But three in particular interest me enough to present here.

1. Fanon Mask by Joanne Petit-Frère. This is a head made out of (synthetic) hair formed into a face and mounted on the lower part of a stone bust remnant. According to the accompanying placard, it has something to do with Covid 19, so I'll let you draw your own conclusions as to what the artist is saying. I mention it here just because I found it fascinating: initially startling and repulsive, then merely disturbing, then (I flatter myself) meaningful and even ... well, not entirely ugly.

2. Two Generations, by Rose Kuper. According to the painting's placard, "two women appear to be dreaming." That's not what I see when I look at it. I see a young woman staring wistfully out the window at a life she cannot access, while next to her, her grandmother prays. To me the painting shows the frustrations of youth and the frustrating complacency of age. 

3. A Day at the Beach, by Martha Walter. This painting is remarkable to me only because it was painted in 1930 or so, and yet clearly shows the image of the Starship Enterprise in the sky above the beach. I can't explain it. 

 There were a number of other beautiful things at the museum, but those three, I thought, were a little out of the ordinary. 

Tulsa skyline, 1906 & 1928

 One of the things Tulsa is known for is Art Deco architecture. The city experienced its greatest boom time during the height of the Deco era, and as a consequence many of the major buildings are exemplars of that style. I found a listing on line for the Tulsa Art Deco Museum, so naturally I wanted to go, as I'm a fan of that style of architecture. The museum, formerly located downtown in one of those Deco buildings, has relocated to a shopfront on 11th Street (Historic Route 66), where it consists of one room, and a tiny room at that, in one of America's more interesting and eclectic gift shop. The Deco stuff on display is mostly mundane, and no effort is made to protect it from curious hands, yet it seems to be in good condition. The museum artifacts, however, have to share space with inflatable dinosaurs, fridge magnets, Lego Star Wars kits, Disney princess dolls and oddities like an inflatable tiara ("for formal emergencies"; I very nearly bought one as a gag gift). The shop sells everything from complex 3-D puzzles and elegantly bound classic novels to t-shirts, taffy-by-the-pound and Christmas decorations. While I was disappointed in the Deco Museum, I take advantage of the opportunity to start my Christmas shopping. (Spoiler alert: you're all getting stuffed animals or resin boxes in the shape of Anubis.) (Just kidding.)

 By the time I finished lunch today (at Tzatziki's Mediterranean Cafe on 15th Street: good but not great) I felt like I was coming down with something. It was in the 70s when I got up this morning, but dropped soon into the 50s and is going down to the 40s tonight. I prepared for the weather as best I could, with a long-sleeved T-shirt, jeans and a windbreaker, and since I was indoors substantially all day, I thought I was ready. But now, at 10pm as I write this, I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel like crap tomorrow. Fortunately I've done almost all the main things on my list of things to do; what remains is a small car museum west of Tulsa, and the aforementioned Deco buildings downtown, which are basically point-and-shoot occasions. Consequently I have decided (just at this moment, in fact) that I'm going to check out of this crappy hotel tomorrow morning instead of the next day, stop and look at the downtown buildings, go see the cars, and then start for home. I will skip the Bob Dylan Center, I think, as I'm not all that interested in it (mainly I'm curious as to what the Hell it's doing in Tulsa, Oklahoma); and I'll probably skip the Woody Guthrie place in his home town (the name of which escapes me at the moment) for the same reason.

 That was an aside: stream-of-consciousness typing. I don't want to forget to mention that I also went to the Jewish art museum and the Blue Dome District. These were both on my list.

wooden vessels by Donna Matles

 The Jewish art museum was interesting in a provincial way. There was the expected Holocaust display, which I found (having seen others in several cities) oddly sanitized. This one was arranged to show the life of European Jews in chronological context as their place in society descended from vital elements of their various communities to hated outsider to victims of unfathomable cruelty. There was an attempt to relate the shoah to modern hate movements (the KKK, white nationalism) but I found all those presentations failed to arouse much in the way of anger or revulsion in me. Maybe I'm just too enured to it; maybe I've seen it all too often already. 

 Otherwise, the museum was dedicated to the local scene, or modern pop culture. There was a section on Synagogues in Oklahoma; there were explanations geared either towards children or utterly parochial non-Jews about Jewish holidays and a little about Jewish (biblical) history: how to play with a dreidel. What order the Channukah candles are lit. What Rosh Hashannah is. Interesting, maybe even enlightening, but essentially mundane.

 On the other hand, there were two things of particular interest to me in the Jewish art museum. One was a small display of stunningly beautiful woodcraft by a now-deceased local artist named Donna Matles; the other was a huge stained-glass synagogue window built about a hundred years ago by the Tiffany Workshop. It was of major interest to me because, unlike every other such window I've ever seen on display anywhere, this one was mounted in such a way that I could see the back of it, and so now I understand how it was done. Not that I will now go home and build stained-glass windows in the style of Tiffany, but at least now I feel like I could do it if I wanted to. I like that feeling.

Tulsa skyline at night, including the Blue Dome

 Finally, tonight, I went down to see what the Blue Dome District is. It's like St Mary's Strip back home: a bunch of clubs and bars and restaurants catering to young people. I had dinner at the Dilly Diner (I don't know why, but I recognized the name from somewhere) -- excellent pulled pork nachos -- and saw the Blue Dome, which is unimpressive, and went back to the hotel. It was still early and I'm damned if I wanted to be out there late on Hallowe'en weekend. Especially the way I'm feeling.

 Day Two: Saturday, October 28

 Definitely a sinus cold. Oh, well. I checked out of my sleazy hotel and had breakfast down the street (they got my order wrong -- ham instead of bacon in my omelet -- but I ate it anyway), then went to see some of the Art Deco buildings downtown The South Boston Avenue United Methodist Church was easily the most beautiful; the others were kind of meh. (And of course there was the Tulsa Marathon to contend with; those damn marathons seem to just follow me around the country.) Following that, I went to the supposed location for the Greenwood Memorial, a little storefront by the baseball stadium, but it was vacant. Then to the Center of the Universe, a spot near the train station. I got out of the car and wandered around but couldn't figure out what was supposed to be special about it. It was just a few rows of bricks in a circle around a bit of broken concrete, on a bridge over the train tracks. I tried yelling, to see if maybe it had special acoustics, but if it did only a dog can hear it. It was cold and drizzly and so I didn't investigate further. Nor did I bother to take a picture: it was that not special.

 From there I headed out of town to Sapulpa, to see the Heart of Route 66 Auto Museum. Not huge, but some nice cars, and I took lots of pictures. Of course I like the museum: they had both a 1955 Jaguar XK-140 and a 1971 Jaguar E-Type. What more could a body want? There were a couple of dozen other nice cars, but too many of the displayed vehicles were fancy modifications or other one-off models, like a "Maserati" built by a local guy in the 1950s from parts of a bunch of other marques, and a mid-1950s Ford Custom with a fancy paint job. And a lot of muscle cars, which, I'm sorry, seen 'em enough.

 There would appear to be some problem on Interstate 35, because when I asked Google Maps for directions home, first it told me there might be flooding in Dallas, then it gave me a route that takes me down into Fort Worth, around the northwest side, and out I-30 west to pick up 281. Later on, it changed the route to avoid I-35 altogether, sending me west at Ardmore, Oklahoma, and then south. I actually preferred that route anyway, and spent the day on just the kind of roads I like to travel. But I didn't sleep well last night, and by 4pm I was barely able to stay awake. I stopped at a convenience store for a break, thinking I'd close my eyes for a few minutes -- that usually solves the problem -- but instead I decided to just get a room for the night in the next town, Bowie, and that's where I am now, finishing up this blog post. I'm about five hours from home, and it looks now that I-35 is the fastest route to get there. But 281 is the most eco-friendly route, and only takes a few minutes longer, and it will take me by the Koffee Kup in Hico once again. Mmm, pie! That is worth the extra time!

Postscript:

I finished the Beatles audiobook on the drive from Bowie to Hico on Sunday. The very last "chapter" consisted of a single quote from some 1967 article by someone who was not a fan, to the effect that no one in their right mind could think that, in 50 years, the Beatles' music would be a regular part of life. I think an extra layer of irony is added by the fact that, in the next week, the Beatles will have yet another new Number 1 hit.

The Second Annual Havasu Film Festival, Part Two

For Part One of this post, please click here.

 So the sister-in-law has gone off home to Colorado, and the wife has gone off to play soccer in the Huntsman Games in Utah, leaving me alone to watch the movies I checked out of the Mohave County Library for this part of the festival. Since it's just me (Carly's here too, but she doesn't care for watching movies) I pick the film more or less at random. This year, it's films from the "C" shelf and films from the "N" shelf.

 Since I just pick the movies for this part of the festival at random, I expect them to be worse movies. I do this both because I don't want to take the time to look them up while at the library, and because I prefer bad movies for this write-up. It lets me channel Alexander Woollcott more effectively. So having now watched these films, I'm more than a little disappointed that they are on balance pretty good entertainment. Tant pis.

Congo

Science fiction is such a wonderfully flexible genre. It runs the gamut from entirely plausible variations on real life, like a disease run rampant around the world, to the most outlandish plots that rely entirely on the existence of evil, plus coincidental natural disasters; and then bleeds off into the realm of fantasy.

Congo is a movie that relies to some extent on evil as a motivation. Not in the central characters, mind you, but in Humankind in general. No, the main characters are motivated by greed, or by love, or by a sense of duty or honour. But evil, it turns out, is implicitly the characteristic of mankind that perverted the natural course of the world and hence produced the threat that causes mayhem in the movie. As that mayhem comes to its climax, natural catastrophe joins in, implying the will of the gods. Except that, as we’re talking about King Solomon’s mines, it must be the will of the one true God. But that is an uncomfortable thought for the film’s makers, so it goes unsaid.

At the beginning of this film we meet Dr Karen Ross, played by Laura Linney with a minimum of scenery-chewing despite some of the lines she’s given. The company she works for has a problem that requires a discreet rescue mission to central Africa, played by Costa Rica. We also meet Professor Peter Elliot and his protegé, a gorilla named Amy, played by two women taking turns in an ape suit. Professor Elliot and his team have developed a machine that can translate sign language into audible speech. They decide to return Amy to the wild with the vaguely expressed idea that she can teach all the other apes to understand sign language, essentially becoming a universal translator between humans and gorillas. Their trip hits a snag when the mysterious financial backer, played by Tim Curry with an eastern European accent and a generous coating of sleaze to provoke suspicion of his motives, admits to financial embarrassment. Fortunately for Professor Elliot, Dr Ross’s company has very deep pockets and will foot the bill. They hop on a plane and fly off to Tanzania, where they meet their guide, played by Ernie Hudson, who delivers the best performance in the film as the man with a plan. He smoothes over all difficulties by knowing the score in the perennial revolutionary chaos of that part of the world.

Remarkably, Amy’s home — and thus the destination for Professor Elliot — just happens to be in the same place where Dr Ross expects to conduct her search for survivors and other things. Who’d have ever have thunk it? It’s a small world, it turns out. The group stumbles upon signs of the people to be rescued in that vast tropical jungle, then discover that King Solomon’s mines, the objective of the eastern European financial backer, are just right there too. Wow! It’s an amazing coincidence! But yeah, it could happen, sure. And in discovering the mines, the group also discovers (a) what happened to the people Dr Ross came to rescue; (b) the treasure of King Solomon is still there; and (c) the treasure is guarded by vicious apes selected for viciousness by King Solomon’s mine-managers twenty-five hundred years ago, and they’ve apparently been waiting for 25 centuries for Dr Ross’s group to wander in. The apes are not vanquished, but modern human technology is enough to allow Dr Ross and a few of her friends to survive (though of course Professor Elliot’s survival is only assured by the intervention of Amy, whose lunch break ended just in time for her to order the bad gorillas to leave him alone). At this point the gods (or the one true God) express some displeasure with the whole thing by having a volcano that has been dormant for all those centuries and more spew its lava upon the ground, and collapse the mines, and raise great chunks of ground into the air where unfortunates can cling to the sides before falling into the bowels of the earth, and open great rifts in the earth to swallow people who don’t get star billing. It’s truly remarkable timing for a catastrophe of biblical proportions.

And yet the movie works. Of course there’s a happy ending for Amy, and of course Dr Ross demonstrates her own strong moral values, and of course the sleazy eastern European backer dies horribly off screen. Of course it’s all fantastically implausible from start to finish, but it’s a fun little idiotic movie done well enough to entertain. It was only after I’d watched, and was thinking about the guys in the ape suits, that I remembered all the jokes about Penny’s gorilla movie on The Big Bang Theory. I was satisfied.

No Clue

The best indicator I know of that I will enjoy a movie is that Rotten Tomatoes’ critical rating is at least fairly good, and that the audience’s rating is higher. There are reasons for this, but they don’t matter. This movie’s critical rating on RT isn’t good, but the audience’s rating is a bit higher, so it would have been a toss-up if I’d checked RT before selecting the movie from the library shelf. I don’t do that, though, because it’s too time-consuming, typing on a smartphone’s little screen, so I just take my chances from what's on the DVD case.

As it happens, I did like No Clue. Not a lot, but enough.

It stars Brent Butt, who apparently has had some success on Canadian television in programs not available to me. Too bad: he has an animated series called Corner Gas that sounds like a fun Canadian version of Family Guy, but with a unicorn and a sasquatch instead of a giant chicken.

In No Clue, which Butt also wrote and co-produced, he plays Leo, a small-time salesman of specialty advertising products who offices in a slightly run-down building across the hall from a private investigator. In walks Kyra, played by Amy Smart, who has been in a number of movies that probably never played in the proudly lame cultural backwater that is my home town. Kyra tells Leo her brother has disappeared and hires Leo to find him. Leo takes the job on, despite his clear stupidity, because, as he tells his idiot friend, “I’m a two and she’s a ten.” Comedy of mostly a low sort ensues, and in the end Leo almost gets it right. (Apropos of nothing, I notice that the video case cover has the same picture as the one above, except the guy who plays Leo's idiot friend is also pictured on it. Probably means nothing.)
I think this is the only movie I’ve ever seen that describes itself as “Canadian.” That alone lends it a very slight aura of the exotic, but let’s face it, Vancouver, Canada, where the movie takes place, is not that different from, say, Seattle or, I assume, Portland. And I don’t think anybody in this movie ends a sentence in “eh?” except in irony.

Norman

Norman Long, played by Dan Byrd, is your typical high-school senior: wracked by self-doubt, shy, often depressed, occasionally suicidal, he feels no one understands him, much less loves him. His mother was killed in a car wreck some years before the movie starts; his father, played by Richard Jenkins, is dying of cancer, is in constant pain and has pretty much given up on life. He’s waiting to die. I get that.

Norman’s English teacher volunteers him as the senior class’s speaker. His best friend nags him into auditioning for some kind of competitive dramatics team. Norman resists both, but in both cases gives in to pressure. And following the audition, Norman gets noticed by Emily vanCamp, a pretty blonde girl played by Emily Harris delivering the best performance of the film. She finds him quirkily interesting, and shows him a friendly warmth he’s not experienced before.

Meanwhile, Norman gets in a heated argument with his best friend (I can’t tell from the IMDb page who played him; probably Billy Lush, but that’s just a guess from the order of the credits) about next to nothing, and Norman, who has kept his father’s illness a secret from his friends, but conveniently has taken his father’s recent MRI scan results from the house that morning, claims to have cancer himself, just to win a silly argument. The friend is aghast and, as you’d expect, apologetic. Emily overhears the two talking about Norman's cancer and offers her sympathy.

By the end of the day the whole school has heard the story. Norman resists it at first, but gives up denying it because, well, that’s what he does. The rest of this dark coming-of-age comedy is about Norman’s journey from cancer victim to honest man. It’s a surprisingly interesting journey, as portrayed by a well-written script and accompanied by a distinctive but unobtrusive soundtrack. I assume it was all written for the film, because Spotify couldn’t identify the songs I tried it on, and I’m damned if I’m going to sit through all those closing credits for that. 

 

Not Suitable for Children

If I was still fifteen years old I probably would have thought Not Suitable For Children was a good movie, funny and cool. Cool because it’s Australian and has a lot of music in, I assume, the style that was popular in Australia in 2012, and raves and lots of drinking and drugs and some nudity and steamy scenes, and it’s about sex. At 15, I would have been as ignorant of reality as the lead character, Jonah, whose doctor told him he had testicular cancer but also (incorrectly) told him that he would be infertile after treatment. That sends Jonah on a quest to father a child in the few weeks remaining to him before surgery to remove the affected testicle. Jonah is a moron, with or without the doctor’s misleading advice, so the rest of the movie follows him in his quest. Naturally, every female he propositions turns him down, and sometimes it’s funny, but mostly it’s just stupid.

One of his roommates, a girl named Stevie, who seemed until the midpoint of the film to be the adult in the room, decides that, gee whiz, she’d like to have a baby herself, and so she makes an elaborate agreement with Jonah — sort of like Sheldon Cooper’s Roommate Agreement on The Big Bang Theory, full of qualifications and limitations — and they go to the drugstore for a syringe for the application of Jonah’s upcoming deposit. They break the syringe, and by then the drugstore is closed so they decide to do things the normal way. Thus the sex scenes and nudity. Oddly, after four days of rutting like rabbits on speed, they fall in love. Then they suddenly grow up and come to their senses.

I don’t believe I laughed even once. I’m not fifteen anymore. 

The Courier

I got lucky at least once when I was browsing through the shelves at the Mohave County Library: I selected a 2021 film called The Courier, mostly because it starred Benedict Cumberbatch, who is widely regarded as a great actor. (I share that opinion to some degree.) This movie had the misfortune to come out right at the start of the Covid pandemic, when nobody dared go to a theater, and it lost a fortune upon its release. But unlike most of the other movies I checked out for this year’s Havasu Film Festival, it really is a high-quality film.

In it, Cumberbatch plays Greville Wayne, who was a real person. In the early 1960s, at the height of the Cold War, Wayne was a salesman in the UK who often dealt in Eastern Bloc countries. He is known slightly by a spymaster at MI6, the British spy agency, who enlists Wayne as a courier to contact Oleg Penkovsky, a highly placed Russian official who has managed to convey to the Western spy agencies the desire to spy for them. (Merab Ninidze portrays Penkovsky, who also was a real person.) Against his better judgment, Wayne agrees, and ends up forming a friendship with Penkovsky. This leads him to try to get Penkovsky out of Russia, despite the insistence of both MI6 and the CIA that it can’t be done.

The film presents a stark contrast of sorts between the West, represented here by the United Kingdom, and the Russian-dominated East. While neither man lives in anything approaching luxury (not too surprising for a British salesman approaching middle age, but kind of surprising for a highly-placed Soviet apparatchik — or maybe my idea of “luxury” doesn’t take sufficient account of the widespread deprivation in both countries at the time; I, after all, am a child of the American 1960s, when we had plenty of just about everything), at least Wayne is free to think, say and do what he likes. Penkovsky is not.

The movie is tense, well-made and thoroughly engrossing, If I had to quibble with anything (and of course I do, or I wouldn’t be me) it’d be with Wayne’s wife, who jumps to the conclusion that Wayne is cheating on her when the pressure of his position makes him increasingly testy. Her reasoning is that (a) he’s cheated once before, and (b) he’s not a good liar. I can understand her arriving at her suspicion, but I resent her acting upon it by throwing him out of their apartment without any real evidence. 

No Man's Land

No Man’s Land is something of a vanity project for one Jake Allyn: he wrote it, produced it (along with four other people, two of whom are named Allyn … I suspect they’re related to him), and stars in it. One of those four co-producers, another Allyn, directed it. Somehow this family venture attracted two well-known performers to participate: Andie McDowell as the main guy’s mom — not a big part, but much more than a cameo — and George Lopez, first famous for stand-up comedy, then television comedy, now appearing in a dramatic role as an honest Texas Ranger. (Of course there are!)

Allyn stars as Jackson, second son of a ranching family barely hanging on along the Rio Grande, between the river and the border fence. (The title, according to the film’s intro, references that strip of land where the fence is at some distance to the river, but really it’s more a metaphor than that.)  Jackson has a shot at a contract with the New York Yankees coming up — everything’s arranged but the signing of contracts — but he’s really more interested in staying home on his beloved ranch with his beloved family. The family’s ranch fronts on the river, and so is a through-route for illegal immigrants (no matter what sensitive term you use for them). These nightly visitors cut fences, thereby occasioning potentially serious financial losses for the ranch family, and of course disturb the dogs, which in turn disturbs the ranchers.

Meanwhile, across the river somewhere in Mexico, there are a couple of people who guide immigrants across into the United States. One, called el pastor (the shepherd) is set up to be a good guy. The other, who may or may not have a name, is a younger thuggish-looking skinny guy with blond-dyed hair and all kinds of tattoos and piercings to make clear that he’s a Bad Guy. He is also a former customer of el pastor, but the guidance taken on board was only of the physical kind. No one is sad when he dies at the end. He is an insult to actual coyotes.

So as the story begins, el pastor leads a small group across the family ranch in the night. The group includes his own son. Dogs bark, the paterfamilias rushes out to deal with it, along with weapons and his older son Luke; Jackson, the baseball star-to-be, is told not to go. Of course he disobeys, blundering into a tense confrontation that results in him accidentally shooting el pastor’s teenaged son. The law, in the shape of the Texas Ranger, shows up; daddy takes the blame. Luke is also wounded and is taken to hospital, while the immigrants are left to go back to Mexico, or whatever.

The Ranger figures out easily that Jackson is the one who actually pulled the particular trigger that cost the boy his life. I’m not clear on how he figures this out, but frankly I couldn’t tell who did what in the confrontation in the night in the first place. Anyway, the Ranger goes to collect Jackson in his pickup truck. Jackson has been out looking over the site of the confrontation and has found the dead boy’s wallet, with some kind of identification in it. When the Ranger arrives, Jackson, who is on horseback, rides away, and we have another low-speed chase featuring a white (and brown) bronco. This time the horse gets to the river. The Ranger stops his truck and waits for Jackson to admit defeat, but Jackson has the brilliant idea to ride through the river into Mexico, like that was going to accomplish something.

The rest of the film follows Jackson on his adventure in Mexico. He first encounters the Bad Guy, but gets away, then gets picked up by some local ranchers who hire him as a laborer. He makes himself their hero by breaking a horse that had otherwise resisted all efforts in that direction. Then he encounters the Bad Guy again and runs off to Guanajuato, where the dead boy was from, having formed a plan of returning the boy’s wallet. Meanwhile, el pastor is seeking revenge and has teamed up with the Bad Guy. They pursue the hero onto a bus to Guanajuato, then chase him through the woods, where they lose him. But they learn from another passenger that Guanajuato was his destination. Ignoring the fact that Guanajuato is a sizeable city, they head down there. (El pastor is from Guanajuato anyway, and has a funeral to attend to besides, so it could be his reason for going is less about revenge; but the Bad Guy has no other real reason to go, unless perhaps he’s a fan of the city’s unrivaled old-world charm, like me. But I find that unlikely.)

By now the Ranger has figured out that Jackson is still in Mexico, and manages to trace his progress to Guanajuato, where he gets the local policias to arrest the hero. Things don’t go smoothly, and he ends up pursuing Jackson through the streets of the city, until the ultimate confrontation when everything is neatly resolved.

Here’s my main complaint about a movie that is actually quite entertaining: the entire story depends on the unbelievable ignorance of the ranch family. How anyone can live that close to the international border with Mexico for long enough to raise two adult sons without learning any useful amount of Spanish beyond “gracias” is logically impossible unless these ranchers are the stupidest four people not in elected office. If they’d had any useful knowledge of the language that probably 80 to 90 percent of the people around them are speaking, there would have been a relatively calm confrontation that night on the ranch, with the migrants either being turned back or turned over to the Ranger, who is conveniently sitting in his truck not far off, listening to Spanish language instructional recordings. (The character claims not to speak Spanish, yet he uses it well enough when he pursues Jackson through Mexico.) (For that matter, when the need arises, Jackson has no problem using Spanish to eloquently insult someone, in order to start a diversionary fight that allows him to escape the Ranger. Maybe he’s not as ignorant as he claims to be, either.)

Jackson is changed by his sojourn in Mexico, and develops a deeper understanding of that country’s land and people than he ever had before. The young man, like his whole family, apparently was entirely lacking in curiosity prior to this trauma. No other minds are likely to be changed by this film, but I’m just happy that it was actually filmed in the city of Guanajuato (and San Miguel de Allende), but mostly in parts that I’m not familiar with. Still, you can bet I paid close attention to the scenery, hoping to recognise something in it. I did not.

The Constant Gardener

In watching The Constant Gardener, a 2005 “gripping suspense-thriller” starring Ralph Feinnes and Rachel Weisz, and based upon a book by famous spy novelist John leCarré, I was prompted, eventually, to define for myself the difference between “dull” and “slow.” This movie is slow, but it manages to not be dull. I’m not sure I can articulate the distinction, except to say that, even when nothing is happening in this movie, something is going on.

Feinnes plays Justin Quayle, a mid-level British diplomat posted to Nairobi, Kenya in some capacity. Weisz plays Tessa, a social activist who is not limited to any one cause. In a flashback to the pair’s meeting, where Quayle is reading a very dull lecture written by someone who was unable to attend the event, Tessa launches into a series of challenges to Quayle that runs so long and gets so rude that all the other attendees get up and leave. When it’s just the two of them left in the room, hormones take over -- like in a scene from Frasier, whose title character famously loves, shall we say, a challenge -- and the two go for a drink and one thing leads to another and there’s a bit of one of those sex scenes where the camera is so close and the cuts come so quickly that you can’t tell really what you’re looking at, but you know it's human bodies writhing. The sounds tell you if you don’t already have it figured out.

In the next scene, an indeterminate time later, they’re married and in Kenya and Tessa is dead. Justin, who spends all his time tending to his plants, whether in the yard or in the house or in the office, is being told by a colleague, Sandy, that two bodies have been found; one seems to be Tessa, but the other is some unknown black guy (horrors!), but not the colleague she had gone off with.

The powers that be, whether Kenyan or British, seem uninterested in investigating the matter. They put it down to banditry, always a good excuse for not doing their jobs. Justin, unconvinced, begins to investigate himself, and the plot is underway like Margerie Glacier. It features post-imperial imperialism, corporate murder, greed, abuse of the poor people of Africa, the impotence of authorities (Kenyan and UN — the British are only impotent when it suits them) and a love story centered on intentional deception. It’s all very well done, with fascinating scenery (including the slums of Nairobi and other places) and well-drawn characters, and it’ll keep you guessing until the last two scenes: one in which the bad guy gets his comeuppance, and one that explains just how that came about. This film is slow, but it’s not dull.

Norman, the Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer

In the last film of this year’s Havasu Film Festival, Richard Gere plays Norman Oppenheimer in the 2016 movie Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer. His character is a pathetic liar who tries to parlay slight acquaintances into major deals, hoping to collect finder's fees and other cuts of big payoffs At the start of the movie we know nothing about him; by its end, we know only that he has a serious peanut allergy and a desperate longing for a Big Score.

Norman is persistent to a point well beyond irritating, and he is so full of lies he makes Donald Trump seem indifferent honest. “My wife used to babysit him. We’re very close.” "I've got a guy, he's willing to match your donations up to seven million." He mischaracterizes things to make himself seem connected, and important; after being thrown out of a private dinner party at a heavy hitter’s home, he tells someone “I just came from [his] house, there was a dinner party.” Names are dropped as though Norman knows all the players. It’s an irony that his one completely true statement in the film causes his downfall, when he tells a woman he meets on a train how he met the man who is now Israel’s prime minister: “I bought him some shoes.” That leads to an investigation of corruption, which leads Norman to the brink, where he finally achieves a Big Score.

I found it hard to sit through this movie. The film’s first release was in September 2016, when it looked like The Donald couldn't get elected dogcatcher. Maybe the film was meant to be an amusing look at the sleaze he inhabited, but it just felt like I was watching two hours of back-to-back Trump rallies, half of them in Hebrew. I got the feeling I’m supposed to feel sorry for the harmless, inconsequential Norman, with his apocryphal wife and daughter and his has-been airs, but I don’t. Despite Gere's fine performance I felt nothing beyond a sad sense that Norman made his own bed, and some relief when he at last laid down in it.