Cheerio! Pip Pip! And All That Sort of Rot!

 The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

starring Henry Cavill, Eiza Gonbzalez, Alan Ritchson, Henry Golding and Alex Pettyfer

directed by Guy Ritchie 

There are no surprises in this movie. All the Good Guys live; all the Bad Guys die. Heroes' shots never miss, while one wonders why villains even bother with guns. The mission is a success and Britain, as is widely known anyway, survives to conquer the Nazi menace with the somewhat important assistance of the US of A, arriving in the nick of time like the cavalry in a 50's western.

 

The point of this movie, if it needs one beyond mere entertainment, is to reinforce the traditional British self-image of devil-may-care aplomb in the face of danger: the Scarlet Pimpernel versus Napoleonic France, brought forward a century and a half or so. The Nazis are dominating Europe? I say! We shall need an impromptu team operating in complete secrecy; shall we say seven people? And I know just who we need. What's that? One is in enemy hands? Hmmm, deucedly awkward, eh what. Well, not a problem; we'll collect him on the way to our destination, and leave alive not a single one of the roughly 200 Germans guarding him. In fact, long as we're there, we may as well blow up the entire facility. Smashing idea, old chap; do, let's! Whisky?

 

The mission, we are told, was an actual one that took place just before the United States got involved in the war. (World War II, in case you haven't figured that out already.) Classified information about this event was released a few years ago, and a book was written (interestingly, two years before the declassification), rights were bought, and the messy business of making a movie chuddered into motion.

 

The film would have us believe that British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was a neophyte in office, likely to be destroyed politically by obtuse machinations of defeatist Royal Navy types; actually the man had been a major political figure for decades, and Prime Minister for over a year, by the time the story took place. But then, feature films aren't usually where one goes for a lesson in reality, any more than a Trump rally. The story is the supremely important thing, and it must be entertaining: a ripping yarn. Maybe it'll be kind of like what really happened, but Jeez, don't go getting all Sheldon about it!  Anyway, this movie-version Winnie C orders an off-the-books operation à la Mission: Impossible; Churchill did love that show by all accounts, even before it existed.*

 

The Special Op is to take out a U-boat supply operation in Fernando Po, at that time a Spanish colony and thus technically neutral in the War. Naturally, the best person for the job -- really the only person -- happens to be incarcerated for insubordination. I'm not sure if Ritchie intends it as a parody or an homage, but either way, it's fun to watch. You can picture the scene, played for laughs, wherein this perfect special operative is enticed into taking on the task without the actual words being spoken. All veddy British, don't you know: A hopeless task, against insurmountable odds, and nothing at the end but certain death? Rather! Whisky, old boy?**

If you're going to see this movie expecting character development or intense drama, stay home and stream something. If you just want to be entertained (or if you wonder how the British see themselves), I recommend this movie. It is entertaining, and the plot, while a little convoluted, is fairly easy enough to follow. Ritchie is not sidetracked by P.C. concerns any more than he is with rigid historical accuracy, he just tells his feathery-light story with as much gusto as will fit on the screen. And by the way, even the night-time scenes can actually be seen clearly. I was grateful for that. 

My only other complaint is that the soundtrack was overly loud, relentless, and not at all inspired.

* In fact, it was stories about offbeat Allied derring-do in the War that gave rise to my own interest in the subject. Without Churchill's love of such intrigue, and his willingness to authorize it, I probably would never have bothered with this movie.

** c.f., Gimli in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: "Certainty of death? Small chance of success? What are we waiting for?"